Facts are Facts and Truth is Stranger than Fiction

Some of you readers may have followed me from another blog site, and for that, I thank you. But most of you are new readers, and no little about me. For you then, I present this list, rota, thingy. This post is not meant to inspire, but to perhaps pry a few questions from you all and make this a truly interactive experience. We blog to share. Those who won’t admit that are hiding something. We blog because we want people to read our thoughts and find out about us. Sure, some of us also blog to get in the habit of writing again. I’m one of those people. But I could easily do that in a not-so-public forum. So go on, ask questions. Comment on my comments. Let’s have fun and live a little! Ready?

I have always hated my smile. Can’t really explain it other than the fact I have two sisters, both stunning, and I was always the athletic one. Thank God defiant and moody works for me!

I love to cook. Now, I’m not at a level where I would go on a television show and compete; but I do like to turn on multiple burners on the stove and get things going. I do, indeed, have a couple of signature dishes (adapted from recipes though).

My autobiography would be tentatively called “It’s a Hard G”, in reference to the common misperception that my name is pronounced with a soft “G”. As of now, it would be a pretty uninspiring read.

I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. No wait, that might have been the guy in the Johnny Cash song. And speaking of songs, I firmly believe the years 1983-1985 produced some of the best albums by the best musicians of all time! There were great albums and artists before and after of course, but these 3 years trumped them all in my not-so decadent opinion.

I’m more voyeur than exhibitionist. I love to people watch! I am fascinated at just how different and the same we can all be at the same time. Having said the opening statement though, my personality and lack of inhibitions usually leads me to becoming the life of the party. Although I can just sit back and take it all in. During these moments of quiet spying, my imagination usually takes over and I substitute my own conversations for the ones they are actually having.

My least favourite question in the world is, “what is your favourite movie?” I can’t answer this one honestly as I don’t really have ONE favourite movie. A lot of it depends on my mood. I struggle to name my favourite war movie or Western. My second least favourite question is, “do you want fries with that?” Of course I fucking want fries with that. I’m a skinny pigeon-chested geek at heart. I don’t worry about gaining weight, cholesterol, hardening arteries. I worry that they will re-release Twilight in 10 years. I also worry that George Lucas will insist in bringing Jar Jar Binks back to the Star Wars universe.

For a relatively high-calibre athlete (I received minor athletic scholarships in college), I have absolutely no flexibility whatsoever. Seriously, my toes and I are strangers. And yet, I never missed any game time because of pulled muscles. Sprains, breaks, and bloodied noses, but never a pulled muscle. Oh, and if you were to meet me for the first time in a sporting venue, you would never EVER speak to me in real life. I’m a bit hot-headed, arrogant, mouthy, and possibly a tad over-competitive.

Laughter really is the best medicine. Unless you’ve got syphilis, then you should probably see a Dr and get a course of antibiotics or something. But your healthy friends will be laughing!

Back in high school some friends and I wanted to start a band. I wrote the lyrics to three songs even though none of us could play instruments. In the time honoured tradition of naming a band that actually meant something (think the Clash, the Sex Pistols, Spinal Tap) we decided to call ourselves Venereal Tartan. Infer all you want.

For every woman who finds me interesting, attractive, hits on me; three men do. Including several on other blogsites I belonged to. Curse me for always matching my belt with my shoes! Except when I wear my two-tone wingtips. I don’t have a two-tone belt yet.

I use punctuation in email and text messages. Sue me.

The more I think about it, the lousier a friend I become. I’m crap at keeping contact, would forget most birthdays if Facebook didn’t remind me, and yet I got upset when only 70 of the 300 friends I have on Facebook wished me a happy birthday last year. Yup, I’m a feminine hygiene product and the handy carrying case it comes in!

I get tired apologizing to the world for Celine Dion and Justin Bieber.

I wish I had another talent besides being, allegedly, okay at this writing malarkey. I wish I could draw, or paint, or sculpt. Maybe I could sing, play the guitar, the piccolo, the oboe, or the bassoon. I suppose I’ll just have to stick to the writing. That and being awesome!

I know way too many slang terms for masturbation.

I have had many nicknames throughout the course of my life but the four most popular and lasting have been: Super Ger, the Park Ranger, the Penguin, and White Chocolate. Don’t ask.

Ever since I became comfortable with the fact I have a stutter, I have not been afraid to make fun of myself. I don’t care if people are laughing with me or at me as long as they are laughing.

The best hamburger I have ever had in my life was from a restaurant on Long Street in Cape Town, South Africa named the Royale Eatery. Salma Hayek also believes these to be the best hamburgers in the world. We weren’t there at the same time though. Cape Town, for the record, is also my favourite city of all the places I’ve visited.

It turns out, I’m pretty good at riddles.

Apparently, people who know these things aren’t surprised when they find out I’m a Leo.

So there you have it. A little bit about me. Feel free to run for cover. Or ask questions.

7 thoughts on “Facts are Facts and Truth is Stranger than Fiction

  1. Okay, I’ll play:

    1. What’s your favorite book?
    2. If you could go to any time and place, where/when would it be and why?
    3. Have you considered yoga for your flexibility? I can now touch my head to my feet in cobblers pose.
    4. What is your proudest moment in your life?
    5. Foods that make you gag?
    6. What would you tell 30 year old you if you could go back in time?
    7. Indoor or outdoor soccer? I’m partial to outdoor for the sun and grass but indoor for the fast-paced gameplay.
    8. If you could be anything other than a writer (complete with training and aptitude for it) what would it be?
    9. Blondes or brunettes?
    10. Do you ever get completely overwhelmed thinking about the scope of the universe? Or is that just me?

    • Thanks for playing Jen. In answer to your questions…
      1. Lord of the Rings made me want to be a writer at 11 years old. It still has a pull on me. I loved the Kite Runner though. Didn’t care too much for the movie. I love a novella by Stephen King titled “Different Seasons”. It contains four stories, three of which became movies. Two of those movies are two of my favourites – Stand by Me (based on the story “The Body”) and Shawshank Redemption (based on the story Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption). Currently I’m reading an author called Jasper Fforde about a literary detective named Thursday Next. The guy is witty beyond belief.
      2. Good question. I think I would have done well as a greaser in 1950s America, but Bohemian Paris would be the place for me. Such creativity and talent there. You could not do anything but write and smoke and drink and write and wallow. Beautiful.
      3. I’ve been to yoga a few times. While I liked it (and didn’t wear spandex), I got frustrated as I wanted to be awesome immediately. There are a lot of yoga classes in Dubai so I might go again.
      4. Proudest moment. Hmmm, lots to choose from. Graduating from MacEwan is up there as I quit a good job to go back to school to follow a dream I had. Several times I thought of quitting but stuck it out. Seeing my book on a bookshelf the first time was a proud moment too. There have been other great moments as well.
      5. Mayonnaise, balut (it’s a Filipino dish where they take a fertilised egg and leave it rot for a while), liver doesn’t agree with me either.
      6. I would tell 30 year old Ger that going back to school would be the best thing for you to do. I did it anyway, but the deliberation process was killer. I would also tell him to give Canada another chance even though they lost his application to live there twice. lol. But most importantly, I’d tell him to be a better friend and person to those around him. Sometimes 42 year old Ger should remember this as well. Why people put up with me like they do is beyond me. My correspondence skills are woeful for a writer.
      7. Outdoor will always be my favoured game but my style was suited perfectly for indoor. I was quick, could play a great one-touch game, and had an even faster brain. Indoor was made for me although I never liked it as much as outdoor. I guess in some ways I’m a traditionalist.
      8. I would love to be a photographer or a game guide in South Africa. I love animals. Maybe a vet as well but I hated the sciences … as you can relate to.
      9. No real preference. As long as they are creative, passionate about something (other than Justin Bieber and racism I guess – and other normal exceptions), funny, and able to hold a conversation it doesn’t matter the hair colour. I can’t see me being too different from anyone else in this regard.
      10. I used to but now I let Dr Sheldon Cooper try and sort it out for me! But seriously, yes, I let al lot of things overwhelm me. But if Stephen Hawking can’t figure out completely I’ve got no hope whatsoever. And I’m fine with that. I do wonder though. Not what it all means, as I struggle enough with day-to-day, but it is good to let the imagination soar and wonder what the Hell is at all for. Kind of exciting in a way.

  2. 1. My favorite book(s) would have to be Self by Yann Martel – it made me want to be a writer (even though I already wanted to be a writer when I read it.) Every time I read it, at different points in my life, I get something different from it. I’m also infatuated with the Realm of the Elderlings books by Robin Hobb. Those are the types of books I want to write – the type that makes you fall in love with the characters and cry when their tale is at an end.
    2. I’d go to ancient Greece – cliche, I know, but I’m rather drawn to the area and that time period.
    3. Yoga has been a lifesaver for me. It has helped me let go of my ego (to a degree) and just accept what my body can do on every given day. (Well, that’s a work in progress; I’m a Leo, after all.)
    4. Proudest moment of my life…two things stand out: watching Santa Claus Parade floats roll by, with people lining the streets to watch, and realizing that I led a fantastic committee that made the festival happen; and finally successfully finishing a work project that was two years in the making. Finishing NaNo is right up there too.
    5. I hate hate hate coconut.
    6. If I could go back 12 years, I would tell 18 year old me to travel. There’s not much about my life I would change – it all led me to where I am today – but I regret not traveling when I was young and unencumbered.
    7. I really, really like outdoor soccer. Even in the rain. Not so much in the snow.
    8. I would love to be a geneticist – and, more specifically, a plant breeder. I don’t know what it is about plant breeding that I’m so into, but I find it fascinating how, over the course of 12 years, a plant breeder can create a new seed variety that has special traits. It’s like molding destiny, in a way.
    9. Brunettes all the way 🙂 Oh and personality and all that jazz is important too I guess.
    10. I started thinking about how big the universe is the other day and started to feel stressed. I don’t think the human mind (or at least my human mind) can comprehend the true immensity of it.

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