I was going over some old writing and I stumbled across a prose poem I had to write in Creative Writing class back in college. This is 12 years old now. The college once used it in their promotional packages about the writing program I loved so much. I guess that is a great honor. So, here it is. And remember, I don’t like poetry.
He’s six foot one.
Built like a picket fencepost.
No one remembers his natural hair colour.
He wears a pompadour. Immaculately styled.
The rest of his body he couldn’t care less about.
I wish my hair was perfect.
He was born in Calgary and hates it.
Says he’s from Vancouver via Glasgow.
He’s never been to Glasgow.
Never outside of North America for that matter.
He thought of changing his name to Wallace when he joined the Highlanders as a piper.
“Scotland is in my soul!”
His relatives are either English or Welsh.
Not Scottish at all.
He has three sisters and he loathes to like them.
“My family isn’t cool,” he’d say, supping a pint.
He’d be home for roast beef Sunday.
Loves his mom’s Yorkshire pudding.
Passes on the veggies and just has beef and Yorkshire pudding.
Wonders why his eyesight is dodgy and he’s always at the doctor’s.
Wears Buddy Holly glasses he stole from his late grandfather.
Can’t see out of them clearly, but they look the part.
Raised on ’50’s Rock & Roll.
Still lists “Rock Around the Clock” as his favourite song.
Although he’d prefer if Johnny Rotten was singing it.
Doesn’t like to fly because of Buddy Holly.
Won’t drive a sports car because of James Dean.
Wears a trench coat in the summer.
Baggy pants hang over his skateboard.
Has a job; looks like he doesn’t.
Has always been gifted at art.
Can paint, draw, sculpt and be proud of what he has done.
I remember stealing a log fifteen feet long and three feet around from Fish Creek Provincial Park so he could make a totem pole.
Took eight of us six hours to drag it home.
“Nothings worth doing if it ain’t earned.”
He did carve the totem pole though.
Featured Keith Richards, Buddy Holly, James Dean, Himself, and Grover.
“I’m actually proud of this one.” He raised a pint in celebration.
Set the thing on fire the next week.
Hates rap music but formed a rap band.
Called himself “Chucker G.” and I was “Tasty Taste.”
Modeled it after Public Enemy.
Dealt with political issues.
Doesn’t care for politics, doesn’t vote. Just likes a good argument.
His favourite food is MacDonald’s cheeseburgers.
Extra ketchup. Likes them after a session.
Drinks only British pints. Too many of them.
Followed by too many cigarettes.
Constantly checks his pulse.
Wants to be tough.
Listens to punk and rockabilly.
Snarls, smokes, snarls some more.
Has thirteen tattoos.
Darth Vader on his left leg.
It’s the most money he’s ever spent on anything.
Including an engagement ring.
Once bought some heroin to try. Couldn’t do it though.
Passed out before he got the needle into his arm.
Came to, had a cigarette.
He mumbles a lot, spits when he laughs.
Checks his pulse.