Living in Black and White


If the world were black and white, would I blend in to the scenery or would I stand out even more?

If my life were black and white, would I speak in tones of silence or would you still hear my roar?

I’m finding it harder to live in “colour” every hour of every day these days. This morning I felt like I was falling apart. I’m not, of course, but even Penguins have off days. Before you worry too much, I’m okay. Nothing is wrong. I’m not sick, in any kind of trouble, and my family and friends are all doing well. Sometimes I just put the Blah in black and white.

In truth, it’s the upcoming holidays that usually bring this melancholia with it. My extended family in England got together for a big Christmas Dinner out yesterday. 22 of them in their worst/best Christmas jumpers/sweaters and it reinforces how alone a person can feel out here. Yes, I have some great friends here, many of whom are here for Christmas so I won’t be alone, but family can add colour to that black and white world, can’t it?

I sent some gifts home for my nieces and nephew yesterday, and that put a smile on my face. And the conversation with the Pakistani at the DHL Service Counter afterwards was downright colourful as well. He wished me a “Merry Christmas”, to which I replied he wouldn’t be able to do that in Canada (where I sent the gifts) because someone would complain about not being Christian and therefore be offended. He said the world was stupid and serious now and people should just smile at each other and respect each other. I nodded, wished him a “Merry Christmas” as well, and walked off smiling.

So I will continue to look for colour in my current black and white world. And I will find it, as I always do. While I think my classic features might be suited to black and white, I’m supposed to be living in colour. I think we all are.

6 thoughts on “Living in Black and White

  1. *Sigh*. Feeling the same brand of unilateral, displaced melancholy. I’d take being with my family over any gift. That photo of the lion is beautiful, but makes me miss my sister even more. Astrologically she’s a Leo (Lion sign), and her initials ironically denote that fact. Laura Elizabeth Owens will be missed this Christmas.

      • No unwanted emotions or memories :). I just can’t make it home for Christmas this year, and I have a flair for drama. After reading my comment again I realized it read like a memoriam. Whoops!

  2. I think I know how you feel. I miss my family that much more at Christmas time, and the frigid temperatures here make me wish I were surrounded by people who know and understand me as well as anyone. Oh well, at least we’ll always have Skype.

    • Hey.
      Sorry for the delay in the response. Yeah, I know I’m (ironically) not alone in feeling this way during the holiday season. I managed to Skype my whole family at various times during the day and spent Christmas here in Dubai with really good friends.
      I hope you and yours had an excellent Christmas and do hope you have a safe New Year’s Eve. And of course a prosperous new year.

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