It’s a Hard G – The Movie Review of My Life

Daily prompt 6 June – Write a review of your life or the life of someone close to you – as if it were a movie or a book.

I’ve opted for movie.

At a little after two in the afternoon on 15 August 1971, John and Marilyn Isitt welcomed to the world a tiny bundle of perfection. Even in their wildest, most optimistic dreams, would either of them have imagined just how wonderful that tiny bundle of perfection would turn out. The word epic gets thrown around far too often these days, but in this case, epic just barely covers it. In a tale that weaves nearly 46 years, and is far from over, leave the children at home as this is a tale that is definitely adult only. It’s a Hard G, the true autobiographical masterpiece from a man so misunderstood he’s easy to read, will leave you in awe with tales of love, sex, laughter, sports, more sex, a little more love, heartbreak, travel, culinary disasters, and because the director knows it sells … even more sex!

It’s a story that has roots in Wales, leads us to the frozen tundra of Alberta, Canada, and finally, for the last decade, the arid heat of Saudi Arabia and Dubai. It’s a story of close family bonds, sibling rivalries, and a growing number of cast members that at times is impossible to deal with. For the most part, they remain in the shadows, barely blips on the social media radar, but those that are close to our hero, are rewarded with his time, his efforts, and his love. He may talk a big game about being awesome, but it is painfully obvious that he is just the sum of all the parts that helped shape him growing up.

But what of struggle and conflict, I hear you say. No great tale can be great without a smattering or more of each, and in It’s a Hard G, there is plenty of struggle and conflict to leave you on the edge of your seat. A natural athlete, perhaps taking after his father in this, he soon learned that he didn’t have to speak when he was commanding attention on ice rinks or soccer fields. His stutter became secondary, his silky hands and quick feet (to be replaced in his later years with silky hands and a quick wit) much more relevant to the dozens that witnessed his near-legendary (to himself) exploits. He was the only person on his hockey team with three different songs about him, and he was so good, he got away with giving his own mother the finger when she told him to “get some air up his ass” as she thought his performance at 6 am on a Saturday morning was below par. He ended the day with four points, not out of spite or because of the abuse, but because he was just that good.

Without going into too many details and spoiling the plot for you all, I will just glance past the decades and leave you wanting more. For a self-acclaimed genius, his scholastic record points to the opposite. Twice he left high school before graduating, but finally did so after moving in with a friend nearly 200 miles from his family. Twice he went to college. Twice he made the soccer team. Twice he dropped out immediately after the soccer season ended. School was probably not for our hero; that is until he turned 31 and decided to go back to college. He stuck it out, graduated with honours, and now works half way around the world and sets off on exotic travels because of it. Some people, our hero included, just need to find things in their own time.

The real attraction to this tale is the star himself, a lovable, likeable, ne’er-do-well with a heart of gold and head full of naughtiness. His rise from awkward scrawny teen to wannabe safari guide and stand-up comic is sometimes painful to watch, but through it all, his dimples shine and his “you either love me or hate me” attitude never wavers. For all his faults, and he will admit to many, he is ultimately worthy of our attention, and every time he enters the picture, it comes alive. For all intents and purposes, the sun shines from his remarkable ass (his words), and at times it is hard to disagree with him; even if by not doing so would bring the biggest “I told you so” grin to his face. On this form, it is easy to see why he has left a string of flings in his wake. He’s too charming for his own good. But, as they say I Hollywood, it is a role he was born to play.

Of the myriad of supporting characters, his younger sister Barbara is perhaps the most compelling, and possibly the only person who has ever really been able to put our youngish hero in his place. The constant give and take between the two, the rapier-like thrusts of wit and insults, lend itself to a comedic timing not seen much since Laurel and Hardy. His superior in every way, and he will admit this on occasion if he thinks no one is listening or that it might help him get a date, she has long been his best friend. All of the scenes they intersect are richer for her, and the historic Rice Pudding War might be the finest piece of dining table riposte that has ever been seen. A truly mouth-watering encounter.

His older sister, Susan, is the strongest of all the characters. Her strength for herself, and her family, and in fact those around her, deserve a film of their own. It bugs our hero that his older sister looks younger than he does, but once he casts aside this shallowness of his own nature, he heartily admits that he will never be as strong as Susan. Some people are just born to hold things together. And she does. And she does it with great poise and grace. And the occasional one-liner that threatens to steal the show.

Mum and dad a never far from the edges of this tale; after all, our hero is ultimately the culmination of many things, not least is what he was surrounded with at home. A home that saw the family eat together at dinner, laugh together whenever they could, opportunities provided as often as they presented themselves, and a push for knowledge, for caring, and for acceptance. If the hero is as remarkable as he lets us believe he is, he can thanks (and does) his mum and dad for helping his become so.

While this film is far from perfect, It’s a Hard G is an enjoyable experience. The lead can come across as a bit of a dick at times, but that’s just who he is, and his flaws are perfectly counter-balanced by his qualities. The karaoke singing in Saudi is worth a few laughs, the safari scenes are a treat on the eyes, and when he becomes the Park Ranger, well, the less said the better. But all in all, I’d give this a 7 out of 10.

Celebrity Reviews:

“My God is he hot!” Jennifer Lawrence

“Park Ranger. Classic! Only the brave would try that.” Hugh Jackman

“He’ll always be welcome at the Mansion.” Hugh Hefner

“If he wants to work with me, I’d be honoured.” Dame Helen Mirren

“I may have seen better films, but this one is made from the heart.” Ellen DeGeneres

“If there were ever a person to ‘make it so’, I believe it is Geraint.” Sir Patrick Stewart

“He can be my wingman anytime.” Tom Cruise

“This is like the Hangover but with only one guy. And he just does it so well.” Halle Berry

32 thoughts on “It’s a Hard G – The Movie Review of My Life

  1. Review, It’s A Hard G 5 stars out of 5, definitely worth reading again and again. Those 6 am games were hard , but great. What a fantastic movie, Luke Evans to play the lead..x

  2. Sounds to me like a fantastic movie and since I LOVE good movies (my pastime when I am chilling) I will make it a point to see this one. Thank you! 🌺

  3. Through all the cute humor, I like how we get to know more about you as a person. I’ll give your movie a 7.5 out of 10 but I’d consider bumping it up to an 8 if you provide a sequel, splurge for the popcorn and spill the beans on that Park Ranger tale…

  4. A great review!

    I wonder if I could bother you for a second, I have this problem for a week. I need to ask for a favor.

    If you have no trouble opening my site or you’re not following me, you can ignore this message.

    My old site is dead, the new link is https://theshowerofblessings.wordpress.com

    You may have to click the new link and FOLLOW my new site again in order to see me show up in your Reader.

    Sorry for the trouble. Thank you, Miriam

  5. I don’t know if I should even comment. Haha! I might have to agree with your 7 out of 10. Sounds like an amazing movie and a great life. BUT, I know it’s not competition, but what about this? (And I sure hope no one is reading this except you. Luckily, I’m reading and commenting much later.

    Born lower middle class, or maybe upper lower class, in a tiny island, one of the 7100 island in the archipelago, she lost her father before she turned. An only child, her mother left to work in Africa in order to provide for her. From a young age, an inferiority complex was a masked feeling of inadequacy which she would carry to adulthood. Having left the island, experienced a bit of the city (although a small city) and moved to Zambia for a couple of years, she mastered the art of fake it till you make it. Going to one of the fancy universities in Manila helped with confidence but the feeling of not good enough never left her. Fast forward, she left Asia and lived in Africa, ending up with 3 children from different dads, and the thought of the one the got away remained. To block out the pains and to fill that emptiness in her heart, she managed to accumulate a string of lovers, and she kept a list, and concentrated on her career, until she met her current husband via online dating. She doesn’t have great regrets though. The restless spirit continues to push her to greatness, or at least an intention, deliberately suppressing some memories she would rather not remember, and living the life she believed means success in the eyes of the society.

    Don’t judge! Haha!

    • Why would I ever judge? Our lives aren’t meant to be easy and current you looks happy enough.
      And don’t worry how society views success. Do what you feel is a successful life.

      • Thank you. ☺ I’m that one my people love to gossip about. Haha. I’m pulled by 2 sides – my kind of success and/or happiness and expectations/conformity. It makes me insane. 😂

  6. Oh Ger! You are such a Leo, so full of yourself. *wink* * wink* But I understand as I’m a cusp 24 Aug.
    Another fantastic post by you that had me cracking up 🤣

  7. Was waiting for your new post too. Btw are you doing the Barathon ? I’m completely not prepared and then have to work on the final edits/ design of the book… perplexed whether I should at all!

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